First of all, I want to say I’m sorry for what has happened between you and your wife. I understand that marriage is not important and when things don’t go right then it is a big loss because marriage is a big commitment.
I advise you to go and find a person you trust to talk to about your case. Someone you respect (the one who is married of course). Get some advise and analyze that advice because you are the one who knows more about the relationship with your ex-wife than anyone else.
The best way is to go and ask someone who both of you (you and your ex-wife) know so that he or she can represent you before you show up face to face with your wife (to reduce the tension). This will help you to feel confident when you finally address the issue with your wife.
It is important to elicit the emotion when you talk to your wife instead of talking about facts and logic. A woman’s brain is wired that way; it is the language that she will understand better.
Start to talk about good things both of you did together, this will elicit good memories which at the moment are buried deep down in your thoughts.
Once you see that both of you are in good state start to mention how both of you miss those days, then say how good it would be if you get back together.
I know this seems easy and you’ve probably done some of it but maybe you were not aware why you did it. But do it again anyway because human make decision by emotion then they rationalize it with logic.
here is what I mean, when you talk to your wife about those good old days in her mind she will say yes, yes, yes because in her reality ( read mind’s reality) she knows that’s true. Now here is the power of this technique… the more you do it the more she will build rapport with you and that is when things will get out of control (meaning emotions will take place). This will make you feel connected together.
Once you have built enough rapport (after you’ve elicited those good experience with her)… in her mind, she will know that everything you say is true. When you mention how good it would be when you both get back together she will say yes because she will associate you with good feelings she has at the moment Remember this is done at emotional level no one can resist that, it is the same reason we get up early moment to work because of the emotion of fear (fear of getting fired, fear of not be able to eat, pay bills etc) but this is another story.
Now I want to make this clear when I say (YES) I don’t mean verbally, what I mean is the unconscious yes. The kind of believes that you say that is true. Like when I say during summer a lot of people like to hang out at the pool. Can you deny that?
When you say, “how good it will be too if you get back she will justify with logic by rationalizing the fact that the feelings she is experience (happiness of good old days) are true and since she wants to experience that state in the future (we all want that) she will logically agree.
I just want you to understand that this all happen without her understanding. I wish you all the best to get back with your wife.
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